Domestic gore by proxy is one of those social diseases that, at first glance, appears to have no cure. When you’re “in” it (that is, experiencing it) you feel its futility and you convince yourself of its permanence.
Is that true? Is it permanent?
The Burden of DV by Proxy
I hear patients and clients talk astir their being overcome by the feelings associated with the conflict they endured (and endure) with their ex-partners. It’s as though they are actually experiencing the incongruity in the moment that they long to be beyond it.
You can feel the creepiness like it in your body. It is so close and because strange at the same time. On the one hand, you are reminded of how you felt when entangled in your divorce and post divorce warfare.
Et Sequens at the same time, it is like a foreign disease plaguing your entire system. It haunts you and leaves you stumbling on the love that is both there and lost in the confusion.
Nvloeden the DV by Proxy contend or the Love
Going recessive to our question of… Is it permanent? I say, not necessarily so.
You can’t know from year-to-year, month-to-month what arbitrary connect or what could separate two people. That is just a fact concerning life. And so is this…
You and only you control your thoughts. Now your thoughts could be directed by someone else’s influence, besides you and only you make the variety to yield to moreover invest in a particular focus.
If that focus were instead on the love object in and of itself, you would more likely avail yourself to healing the homebred violence by delegate as you feel it nephew to your ontic estranged from your child.
Focus on and Feel the Love
Now you might indiging reading this and recalling the severity of your own defeat and wonder, how can this subsist possible? You think to yourself that you don’t control the loss of the bond (or the loss of the love as it may feel). But that’s not the point. It’s not about control. It’s about the focus of your attention.
As you shepherd it to the object of your love…which in the case of domestic violence by proxy–your child, a divide happens to you and in your experience.
If you and your child/children are victims of domestic violence by proxy, tune into the seat in yourself that you do, indeed, control. Tune into the thoughts that are truly the building blocks of what you wish to create. And let your experience of that envelop you. You, too, will see the power your focus brings to granulation domestic violence close proxy.