If you connective your children are victims of domestic violence by proxy, you know one of the deepest human injuries. It’s a wound to the nodule about your being. And your greatest challenge in healing this wound is to oblige yourself to feel the ache of it in the course of your loving your alienated child…or parent.
Loving and Longing Uncut in One
Have you anytime noticed how reunions bring up the good, the bad and the ugly? They trigger the love, the pain, the sweet memories and the nightmare. By the time you get to the encounter, you could be so stressed out from the miscellaneous bagian of emotions that you stumble on your own binal feet.
Here are some things you can do in preparing to re-connect with your estranged children. If you are an adult child reading this, you may also find value in applying these points as you qualify to meet your alienated parent.
1) Detached the love from the nightmare story.
Even though they feel ever so entangled, the love is refusal the story including the story is not the love. The primal connection you have with this person is as real and enduring as you allow yourself to know it. It doesn’t ever go away, unless you cause it go.
That being said, you have the keys to rekindling the flame…igniting the natural bond. Now, granted you will find yourself stepping over mounds of memories that send you spinning. Hold compassion for yourself as you tiptoe through the parade of pain, and rehearse to step into the place inside that makes your heart sing.
2) Embellish the moment for what it is now,…over what is missing through the lost days, months et sequens years.
You can’t get back what is gone. Impossible! I know you know this. Et Cetera with that knowing is the insightful that your parent-child cup is not empty. Rather, this cup is filled with mixed jealousy and conflicting memories.
If you step into the consideration and zest what exists today, you inspire opportunities for mending yourself and your estranged loved one. This can only be fait accompli in the present—here and now.
3) Hold the vision of what you seek to create in your relationship with this person.
Life goes in one direction: forward. Move it in the forward direction even when you feel compelled to mirror backward. The relationship you seek to know exists in what is ahead. Cradle the joy of this birth, as you hold the mark of that which you seek along your loved one.
In closing, let yourself feel the blessing before you as you enter upon rebuilding this affiliation given to you (not taken away).